"To know without knowing"

So many times I've had the feeling of knowing things before they happen.
The problem is that I don't know how or why they are going to happen.
That strange sensation of knowing somebody that you haven't even met.
The ability to see into the distance future, that one so unreal to us all,
and yet the one that you surely know is to come.

I believe that's probably one of the most difficult issues to face.
Because when you live in this world and everyone around you is telling
you that there's no way things will turn out the way you say they will,
and despite all that... you know by heart they will!

Or those times when you think you know with precision what is to come.
And when the time comes, it never happens.
Is it really me just trying to guess the future?
Or is it all very much real and I just don't pay enough attention when I must?
Lately, I've been losing my faith. In God, the one who gave me this abilities,
my abilities (since they don't seem to work properly); and myself (after all
this mess of course I would doubt my own capacity!)

After all this years living a life out of this world, one would go crazy.
Or at least that would be my opinion. Wouldn't you agree?
Look at it from my point of view.
You are born in a very disturbed era, which is pretty normal cause there are
many more other babies being born at the time.
But you happen to be born with a gift that shows up as soon as you gain understanding of the world.

To be born with the ability to communicate the spiritual realm with the terrestrial realm in this time of violence and internal war, was like living in a bilingual town; in which the only one who spoke both languages (or at least understood) was me.
Being attacked with negativity straight to the core from such a young age, my childish self found refuge in fantasy. That place where I was able to dominate both worlds and find a relief.

The story pretty much is the same (or at least goes in the same direction through the story).
The world that we all live in, my fantasy world, and the spiritual world; they all blur the boundaries from one to the other. And the older I grow, the more they fuse with each other.

So my life know pretty much goes like this:
I live my life trying to be the best I can be for this world, but as I go my way, I also have to be careful cause there are things that have happened, are happening, and will happen; that the astral world tell me about the real world and even though no one else knows or believes it, I have to prepare my material world in order to face those events.

My fantasy world is as far and close as it has never being.
Fantasy will become reality, and my reality looks pretty distance from the fantasy and future that I'm able to see. But once again, at an earlier point in my life, my reality seemed just like a fantasy. And just like that, it became my reality. I hope you are starting to understand what I mean.

This is me, a being trapped in the middle of 3 worlds. Worlds that blur among themselves and blur my mind. My fantasy becoming my future, my future becoming my reality, and my reality becoming a fantasy. And we can't call it cycle since they all mix among themselves, making it almost impossible for me to forsee what comes my way with clarity. And is not just about what I can see, but what I can hear. What I can feel, and the most frightful one, what I can live.

I know this all might sound like something crazy, but once again, I have no one who can tell me with certainty what this is all about. So I'll just keep going my way.
Gabriela... what does it have to do?! This is what I'm talking about!, names, numbers, dates!
They just randomly appear in my head for no reason apparently, until I find out in (in this case for what I feel) the not so distant future, but neither exactly immediate. Once again, leave it to God and the fate that he has written upon me.

"To exist in many worlds at the same time is like not existing at all, for I cannot chose which life to live."



I only wish for a light to guide me in this maze, so I can do what I must.

The Winged Lion