"My soul before the ghost of Christmas."

Lately, I've tried desperately to find days far gone.
Back on those days where my soul of a child dreamed and counted
the days and hours before miracles were born.
I still remember the happiness and bliss of everyone, always with
a smile on their faces, tired but happy for a night of blessings
was about to come.

I still remember the ritual of cleaning the house to the point
of non-spot left behind, getting everything ready to receive,
one more year, magic from God into our hearts.
I can't deny the thrill of waiting for the presents that our
parents, so full of effort, got us.
They just wanted us to be happy and smile back at them.
Then we all got together and pray to the lord for blessing us with
so much and making it through another year.
I was so happy.

I still remember the fireworks all around me, and my friends
and family so eagerly playing with them and teaching me how to.
The cheers and laugh among the young adults that my parents
and my other relatives were, altogether with those close to them.
I can hear the sound of crackers and the smell of gun powder,
I can feel many hugs on me, from my little point of view.
I am so happy.

When did we become so cold?
When did it all go down?
My family left, I left. We left that house, we left that life.
We took our ways and found new ones.
As long as I have my family and loved ones together I might do it.
I'll handle it. I can be happy.

So many years have passed and now I look back at the memories.
I'm so afraid those beautiful and happy days will never come back,
but for that past to be part of our future, I'll put my life on the line.
Now I'm happy being thankful to God for making my loved ones
joyful. I'm happy giving them presents from my heart, I love them
so much, why shouldn't I.

I hope they are all happy, and prosper. I hope they can find
their light. I don't know how much more of this suffering I might take.
But if I can relive those moments someday, I will bleed until there's
no more blood left inside my body.
I want to be truly happy.

This year, oh father from heaven, I just want one thing.
Let me be happy, and let my family be happy.
I don't need anything else, just to be happy.
I don't know what's beyond the horizon, but I will believe in you and
let you guide my steps in this life. I still love you, and I'm sorry
for everything I've done. But please don't leave me. I'll go the distance.

"People take lives for money, I'll give my life for love."